![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
A Case of Mistaken Identity
Mar. 15th, 2019 08:50 pmI'm pretty sure this is going to be retconned out of continuity, because the way things are going back in 2013-14 there is no way in hell I would actually make this mistake as of 2019, but who knows? If it ends up being even remotely canon, here's how it originally went down, for posterity.
* ...How did you forget [we're all filthy gutterbrained monkeys]? :-P (nm) — Thoth, Wed Jan 16 9:20pm
** It's my fault. I really should drop by more often. ;) (nm) — Captain Jack Harkness, Wed Jan 16 10:35pm
*** (( Wait, that's not the name I thought it was. Oops! )) (nm) — Neshomeh, Thu Jan 17 12:36am
**** ((Too late! :P)) (nm) — Iximaz, Thu Jan 17 4:09am
*** Speaking of which... — Jenni Robinson, Thu Jan 17 12:33am
**** Not that I know of, but... — Captain Jack Harkness, Thu Jan 17 4:09am
***** *dangit, author* — Jenni Robinson, Thu Jan 17 9:04am
****** Sure, why not? — Captain Jack Harkness, Thu Jan 17 11:53am
******* And then there was a ficlet. — Neshomeh, Thu Jan 17 2:22pm
Surprisingly, getting into the department without being seen had been easy. Jenni had her suspicions about this, but seeing as it had been too late to back out gracefully from the word go, she surrendered to the moment. Why not? It wasn't like this was some sort of premeditated, lust-fueled plot to get into his pants. It was an accident. A happy, raunchy accident between two happy, raunchy people. No harm, no foul, right? And Jack was the British image of a cocky, handsome American fly-boy. He was fun.
Of course, the Powers That Be couldn't simply let them get away with it. Oh, no. Upon exiting Room B-9, slightly disheveled and grinning, they ran smack into Head Nurse Suzine.
Suzine narrowed her eyes in immediate suspicion. "Nurse Robinson...?"
"Uh-oh," said Jack. "Are we in trouble?"
Face frozen in its rictus, Jenni latched onto Jack's arm. "I found him!"
"What?" said Suzine.
"What?" laughed Jack.
"Jack, you naughty boy," Jenni said, shaking a finger at him. "You can't go wandering off like that! Come on, back to your room!"
"Um..." said Jack.
Suzine crossed her arms and didn't budge. "You... found him."
"Yes."
"In Section B."
"Yes."
"Wearing a cocktail dress."
"Totally random happenstance," said Jenni, wishing she'd gone with fewer sequins.
"Hey, I'm starting to feel a little sidelined here," said Jack.
Jenni made what she hoped came off as an apologetic grimace and not obvious guilt to both her date and her boss.
Suzine's skepticism was etched on her face like a stone carving. "Riiight. Captain Harkness, why don't you come along with me? I think there's an immediate release form with your name on it."
She made a curt gesture. Jenni let go of Jack's arm, and he, having the sense not to piss off someone who could get away with wearing those heels with that skirt, shrugged and went along.
"Nurse Robinson, I'll see you in the Kudzu's office in fifteen minutes," said the Head Nurse before turning away.
Jack looked over his shoulder, raised a hand with the thumb and pinky spread apart, and mouthed "Call me!"
Jenni waved. Once they'd rounded the corner, she slumped off to Section C and her impending doom.
About twenty minutes later, she stood in front of the Kudzu Vine with Suzine glaring at her from the side.
And you say this was a case of mistaken identity? said the Flower.
"Yes, Ma'am."
Why did you not say so and excuse yourself in the first place?
"Embarrassment and stupidity, Ma'am."
I see. And why did you not simply tell Nurse Suzine the truth right away?
"Panic, Ma'am."
The Kudzu rustled its many leaves, giving the impression of a disappointed sigh. I thought you were more mature than that, Nurse Robinson.
Suzine gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Yeah right."
Jenni pressed her lips together, but held her tongue.
Dear oh dear. What are we to do with you? Clearly No-Drool Videos will not be an effective remedy. Unless... If it were possible for a vine to smirk, the Kudzu was doing it. Perhaps, with your clear expertise in this area, you might be able to suggest some... improvements to the regimen?
Jenni winced. Ellipsis improvements. Dear oh dear indeed. "You want me to come up with something so awful it will put off the likes of myself? That... seems pretty cruel. To everyone else."
Oh, don't think of it like that. Consider it a public service. A small contribution on your behalf for the sake of a PPC free of wanton lusting. We will have to mount a plaque on the wall to honor your dedication. Won't that be nice?
Jenni went *wibble*.
Then that settles it. You're dismissed. I know you'll want to get to work right away.
"I hope it was worth it," said Suzine, who at least seemed somewhat taken aback herself.
Jenni muttered something incoherent and went to write her last will and testament.
******** Case of mistaken identity, huh? ;) — Agent Jacques Bonnefoy, Fri Jan 18 12:19pm
********* Unh. Yes, please. x.x — Jenni Robinson, Fri Jan 18 12:34pm
********** It's a date! — Agent Jacques Bonnefoy, Fri Jan 18 1:04pm
And then the deep, serious retconning began. All in all, this wasn't so bad. ^_^
~Jenni
* ...How did you forget [we're all filthy gutterbrained monkeys]? :-P (nm) — Thoth, Wed Jan 16 9:20pm
** It's my fault. I really should drop by more often. ;) (nm) — Captain Jack Harkness, Wed Jan 16 10:35pm
*** (( Wait, that's not the name I thought it was. Oops! )) (nm) — Neshomeh, Thu Jan 17 12:36am
**** ((Too late! :P)) (nm) — Iximaz, Thu Jan 17 4:09am
*** Speaking of which... — Jenni Robinson, Thu Jan 17 12:33am
**** Not that I know of, but... — Captain Jack Harkness, Thu Jan 17 4:09am
...I'm certainly not about to turn down an invitation like that! What do you say to tomorrow? ;P
***** *dangit, author* — Jenni Robinson, Thu Jan 17 9:04am
... And that's how I got written up for egregious fraternizing with canon characters! Wanna get a jump on the No-Drool Videos with me? They're actually kind of fascinating. ^_^
****** Sure, why not? — Captain Jack Harkness, Thu Jan 17 11:53am
This is turning out to be one of the most interesting dates I've had in a while!
******* And then there was a ficlet. — Neshomeh, Thu Jan 17 2:22pm
Surprisingly, getting into the department without being seen had been easy. Jenni had her suspicions about this, but seeing as it had been too late to back out gracefully from the word go, she surrendered to the moment. Why not? It wasn't like this was some sort of premeditated, lust-fueled plot to get into his pants. It was an accident. A happy, raunchy accident between two happy, raunchy people. No harm, no foul, right? And Jack was the British image of a cocky, handsome American fly-boy. He was fun.
Of course, the Powers That Be couldn't simply let them get away with it. Oh, no. Upon exiting Room B-9, slightly disheveled and grinning, they ran smack into Head Nurse Suzine.
Suzine narrowed her eyes in immediate suspicion. "Nurse Robinson...?"
"Uh-oh," said Jack. "Are we in trouble?"
Face frozen in its rictus, Jenni latched onto Jack's arm. "I found him!"
"What?" said Suzine.
"What?" laughed Jack.
"Jack, you naughty boy," Jenni said, shaking a finger at him. "You can't go wandering off like that! Come on, back to your room!"
"Um..." said Jack.
Suzine crossed her arms and didn't budge. "You... found him."
"Yes."
"In Section B."
"Yes."
"Wearing a cocktail dress."
"Totally random happenstance," said Jenni, wishing she'd gone with fewer sequins.
"Hey, I'm starting to feel a little sidelined here," said Jack.
Jenni made what she hoped came off as an apologetic grimace and not obvious guilt to both her date and her boss.
Suzine's skepticism was etched on her face like a stone carving. "Riiight. Captain Harkness, why don't you come along with me? I think there's an immediate release form with your name on it."
She made a curt gesture. Jenni let go of Jack's arm, and he, having the sense not to piss off someone who could get away with wearing those heels with that skirt, shrugged and went along.
"Nurse Robinson, I'll see you in the Kudzu's office in fifteen minutes," said the Head Nurse before turning away.
Jack looked over his shoulder, raised a hand with the thumb and pinky spread apart, and mouthed "Call me!"
Jenni waved. Once they'd rounded the corner, she slumped off to Section C and her impending doom.
About twenty minutes later, she stood in front of the Kudzu Vine with Suzine glaring at her from the side.
And you say this was a case of mistaken identity? said the Flower.
"Yes, Ma'am."
Why did you not say so and excuse yourself in the first place?
"Embarrassment and stupidity, Ma'am."
I see. And why did you not simply tell Nurse Suzine the truth right away?
"Panic, Ma'am."
The Kudzu rustled its many leaves, giving the impression of a disappointed sigh. I thought you were more mature than that, Nurse Robinson.
Suzine gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Yeah right."
Jenni pressed her lips together, but held her tongue.
Dear oh dear. What are we to do with you? Clearly No-Drool Videos will not be an effective remedy. Unless... If it were possible for a vine to smirk, the Kudzu was doing it. Perhaps, with your clear expertise in this area, you might be able to suggest some... improvements to the regimen?
Jenni winced. Ellipsis improvements. Dear oh dear indeed. "You want me to come up with something so awful it will put off the likes of myself? That... seems pretty cruel. To everyone else."
Oh, don't think of it like that. Consider it a public service. A small contribution on your behalf for the sake of a PPC free of wanton lusting. We will have to mount a plaque on the wall to honor your dedication. Won't that be nice?
Jenni went *wibble*.
Then that settles it. You're dismissed. I know you'll want to get to work right away.
"I hope it was worth it," said Suzine, who at least seemed somewhat taken aback herself.
Jenni muttered something incoherent and went to write her last will and testament.
******** Case of mistaken identity, huh? ;) — Agent Jacques Bonnefoy, Fri Jan 18 12:19pm
Sounds like a fun time all around, apart from the...consequences. What do you say we go for that coffee after all, and you tell me all about it? I'm a very good distraction from things like No-Drool Videos ;)
-J
-J
********* Unh. Yes, please. x.x — Jenni Robinson, Fri Jan 18 12:34pm
At least this way my last memory before some poor agent justifiably murders me will be a good one!
~Also J
~Also J
********** It's a date! — Agent Jacques Bonnefoy, Fri Jan 18 1:04pm
Maybe you'd better swing by here, though--RC 5242. Just in case. I'd like to think most of FicPsych knows me well enough by now to recognize me, but given what just happened, it seems a better idea not to tempt fate...
-J
-J
And then the deep, serious retconning began. All in all, this wasn't so bad. ^_^
~Jenni
